Day 13

Today i weighed in at 219.6lbs! nice to finally break the 220's barrier. maybe my plateau is finally going away..
Today is my mother's birthday and we were supposed to go out to dinner to celebrate, but now she's claiming she's in pain and doesn't want too. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I'm a little relieved as i wasn't sure what i was going to eat at the restaurant. I could have had a lean steak and some green beans, but lets face it, no restaurant makes good green beans. hahah Plus i would have had to watch everyone eat their amazing salads and potatoes and ugh i'd def want. But no worries because i know i'm strong enough to say no :)
I realized last night as i was obsessing over my frustration with the drops not lasting the amount of time they say, that i was really obsessing over the desire to have lost enough weight to have been under 200lbs. I need to realize that losing weight fast isn't normal and even after this is over i still have a lot to lose with diet and exercise. What i'm hoping is that doing hcg will help these good eating habits of cooking and eating lean meat and good veggies and such will actually become habits. They say it takes 1 month to create a new habit and a month to break one. By the end of hcg it will have been over 60 days, so i'm hoping the habit will be ingrained enough for me to be able to handle controlling cravings on a daily basis and eating right.
I think when it comes to exercise and eating right, i tend to do better when i have an objective. Like with this diet, i dont wanna screw it up and gain weight so that mentality keeps me on track, but what about when im not on it anymore? i'm going to be reintroducing starches and sugars back into my diet and that can be scary. I need to stick to my daily calories, work out 5 days a week with some kind of program that has a start and an end date like the 30 day shred, and learn to choose healthier options. like sugar free frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, or healthier coffee beverages. I think the exercise program with a "30 day" type of deal will definitely help me because it has a deadline. once that program is up i start another one, but in the beginning i need a target objective, or i just get bored and stop.
What i'm most nervous about right now is messing up this cycle of hcg. I know i'm doing everything right on the first phase, but the 2nd phase makes me nervous. I plan on exercising in the second phase, but that is the phase we are supposed to stabilize our new weight to train our bodies to maintain healthy weights. The problem is that i can only eat meat and veggies and fruit and not starches or sugars. How am i supposed to eat 2000cal + to maintain my weight plus some that i'll exercising off by only eating super healthy foods? i'm going to be eating 24/7! I dont see that happening. I'm not going to worry if i continue to lose weight in the second phase, because i'm still remaining healthy. It's not like i wont still lose weight once hcg is completely over with! I still need to lose a good 70+lbs. I need to learn to exercise, and i want to do it now while i still have the momentum going off this new healthy eating lifestyle.

I hope i'm doing the right thing!

xo
Lady C